My Rabbits for a Sweet Cake
by ladymal
Summary: Cole and Saehin rescue a litter of baby rabbits much to Solas' dismay. Especially once the poor things meet a very sticky end. Non-graphic animal death.


When Solas had come upon Cole and Saehin in the garden with a litter of infant rabbits between them, he could not have known then what ordeal would come of it. He had smiled to see the gentleness of her expression as she held one in her palm and stroked its soft fur. For once, she'd looked effortlessly happy and it had pleased him to know that she was. That it was from handling rodents that were better for food than companionship, he was determinately refusing to allow to bother him.

"Their mother was killed by a fox," Cole said as he approached, blinking. "Confused and afraid. Hunger like knives in little bellies. It would have been wrong to let them die."

The spirit paused, gazing at him with surprising sternness. "They are not food."  
Saehin looked up from the kit in her hand with a frown that promised vengeance.

"No, they're not. Who thinks they are?" she asked.

When Cole opened his mouth to speak, Solas' well-honed instincts smelled disaster before a single word managed to escape and he knew that he must be swift or be exposed.

"Only a passerby, I imagine," he interrupted smoothly with a swift, quelling glance at Cole. "I am sure that they've no intention of harming them, vhenan."

Truths, both. He had, indeed, been passing by and he certainly had no plans to eat the creatures; whatever his thoughts on their usefulness. Regardless, she seemed as reassured as a mouse in a cat's den and she cradled the rabbit protectively against her chest.

"I best tell the cooks that they're not to be eaten," she said. "They're small but who knows what shemlin think is suitable food?"

"Yes. Josephine misses the stew from home." Cole nodded and sang a short tune to the members of the litter huddled around his feet.

 _I had a little nut tree,_

 _Nothing it would bear  
_

 _For the rabbits around me._

"They like it," the spirit said once he'd finished the last note, "and you have to go."

"I do." Saehin got to her feet with a sigh. The rabbit was still in her hands and at Solas' glance, she offered it to him. "It's alright if you want to hold her."

For a long moment, he stared at the kit's creamy tan fur and the way it nibbled on its long ears. It had large, sweet eyes and a little tail that flicked. A white patch gave its nose a distinct heart shape. Each of its feet was smaller than his thumb and he imagined that the fuzzy things would be velvety on his palm.  
He tucked his hands behind him carefully as if she was threatening to drop a viper into them.

"Thank you but no."

Shrugging one shoulder, she turned on her heel and placed the creature on the ground with the others.

"Walk with me?" she asked.

He relaxed and agreed.

As they left the garden, he put the rabbits out of his mind; considering the matter of his involvement with them well and truly settled. That was the last he would see of them. Saehin may discuss them from time to time but that was acceptable. His lack of interest in interaction with the kits had been made and he trusted that she would respect it. He hadn't enjoyed the air of hurt that had surrounded her at his rejection; he would not like to experience it again if it could be avoided. She was unlikely to make her offer again and that was for the best.

Yes, of course.

* * *

Saehin had brought one of the rabbits into her quarters.

It was evening and despite being in bed, she was not preparing for sleep. No, instead she was lying on her back, still in her tunic and breeches, with the creature snuggling into her belly as if it did so every day. Its fur was the same color as the one she'd held earlier and though he couldn't see from here if it had a white heart on its nose, he had no doubt that it did.

 _She is making a pet of it_ , he thought, pained.

"Solas?"

With a blink, he realized that he'd been standing at the top of the stairs for several minutes and how odd he must look. He cleared his throat quietly and walked over to lower himself onto the bed near her feet with only the barest of hesitations.

"I had not realized that you'd grown so quickly attached," he said.

She searched his face as she did when she suspected that she was being mocked but seemed to accept that it was merely an observation.

"Yes. She is very sweet."

He swallowed a sigh. _Of course._

"Should it not be with its littermates?"

"Her name is Marigold and she will be." Her touch was gentle as she stroked the kit between the ears. Despite being asleep, it stretched to meet her. "I only wanted to hold her a short while."

He swept his gaze over the stress that lined his vhenan's face and the dark shadows beneath her eyes. As she did everything else, she wore the strain subtly and he would not have realized it was there if he hadn't known to look. Surreptitiously, he glanced at the Anchor— _it was too soon; it could not happen yet_ —but it was dormant and the tiny knot of tension in his stomach relaxed. It was not what was troubling her.

He wrestled with himself— _your wants are irrelevant; it is wrong of you to teach her to rely on you_ —but not for long. Shame burned and was ignored as he reached out to rest his hand on her ankle.

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing worth discussing," she said, staring at him in that unwavering way that she had. Something shifted behind her eyes and her expression eased. "Thank you."

Abrupt but careful, she lifted the kit off of her belly and stood. He caught sight of a smile on her lips and pleased warmth spread through him.

"I should take her back to the others," she told him. "Here."

The warmth disappeared in an instant and was replaced by alarm.

"That is—"

But she was already thrusting the creature into his hands and it was much too late. He fumbled slightly out of surprise but was quick enough to adjust to the unexpected burden. Saehin had turned away so she wasn't aware of his somewhat desperate attempt to shove the rabbit back into her care. Other than to kick its feet and shift to burrow somehow even further into his hands, it didn't react to its new location. He thought of simply placing it onto the bed and leaving but he knew he wouldn't.

It was precisely as he had feared.

The kit's fur was as soft and gratifying to the touch as one imagined a cloud might be. Its whole body rose and fell with its breaths and it was so small that he could have cupped his hands and hidden it from view completely. Against his palm, its heart beat a steady rhythm that was quick with life even in sleep.

It could never have known but when a shiver shuddered through its little form, it sealed its victory.

Sighing, he pressed the rabbit up to his chest so that it might share his body heat. Saehin has pulled on her coat and was now giving him a look that lay somewhere between amused and thoroughly baffled.

"Why do you look as if you'd just had to feed it one of your fingers?" she asked.  
Solas snorted a laugh. "It is the look of an elf who is accepting his defeat."

"By a rabbit?"

"In part."

"I've no idea what you're talking about," she said, her head tilting. She bent down to give him a sudden but gentle kiss and caressed his cheeks. "Would you like to come with me?"

He didn't answer. His skin was tingling and he leaned forward to capture her lips before she could move too far away to do so. She let him with a smile that freed a fluttery thing near his heart and longing to bring her closer flashed through him. To unwind her hair from its braid and lift her shirt aside to expose the skin beneath so that he may feel those, as well.

With the kit in his hold, however, he could do none of these things but calm his breathing as she left him with a last stroke of her thumb over his mouth.

"Come along, then," she said with a huff of laughter and pulled him to his feet.

* * *

That night, he found himself in the midst of a dream. Not unusual in and of itself except that it was not one he had deliberated made. It was a creation purely of his subconscious mind and he had fallen into it; caught unawares for the first time in many, many years. Puzzling. He had to confess to some curiosity to where it would lead and such a thing would be no more dangerous than anything else so long as he remained cautious. Decided, he looked around to see what his thoughts had produced.

He had taken on the familiar form of a wolf and he was in an ancient forest clothed in twilight. After a moment, he slipped through the trees; his feet were ghostly silent in the underbrush. The Fade around him was just as quiet but occasionally there would come strange, unnatural sounds that made his ears swivel. Shadows passed near enough to catch sight of him but none ever did. Something that wasn't quite fear told him that this was for the best.

Hours, days, or minutes later, he came upon a clearing of soft, thick grass and in the middle there was a tea party in full swing.

The infant rabbits that Cole had rescued were seated around a long, tablecloth-covered table and had grown to the size of people. There were cakes and sandwiches and delicate breads shaped like lettuces laid out before them in abundance; so much so that the table bowed beneath it all. China clinked merrily. The competing scents of sweet chocolate spiced with peppers and bitter tea wafted his way and squeaking chatter filled the air, followed by a burst of chittering giggles.

It was a ridiculous—and thoroughly bewildering—sight and at the head of it all was his vhenan.

She was cheerier than he'd ever seen her; laughing free and loud and grinning from ear to ear. That alone would have alerted him to the fabrication though he could feel the difference, regardless. It was not a spirit or her real self; only a conjuring of his own mind. Glittering gems were woven into her hair and she wore an elaborate dress of bright yellow that seemed to glow with the force of her delight when she spotted him.

"Solas!" She waved then decided to beckon and it finished as a graceless combination of the two. "Come! Come!"

An empty chair appeared at her side and he paused before padding over to sit within it. The giant, gray rabbit to his right piped a greeting and began chewing on one of its enormous ears.

"I was hoping you would arrive soon," Saehin said with a happy sigh.

"Were you?"

"Yes." After balancing a cup patterned with wolves doing a waltz onto her head, she lifted a matching pot and shoved it under his muzzle. "Tea?"

He declined politely but was firmly ignored. The cup—now filled enough to slosh out onto its saucer—was thrust into his paw and he wrinkled his nose at the steam that curled up from its surface. He turned it to warm cider before taking a sip, his tail wagging contently at the memory of its taste. Saehin beamed.

"There's nothing better than a party with friends, wouldn't you agree?" she asked.

There was a chorus of squeaks from the rabbits and Solas hummed noncommittally. If she was disheartened by his response, she didn't show it. Instead, she sang a simple tune as she started to pile cake after cake onto his plate.

 _I said, 'So fair a rabbit,_

 _Never did I see,_

 _I'd give you all of the fruit,_

 _From my little nut tree.'_

 _I danced o'er the water,_

 _I danced o'er the sea,_

 _And all the rabbits in the garden,_

 _Couldn't stop me._

She ended her song as the final treat was dropped in front of him and flourished her serving fork.

"Eat up!"

Solas stared at the small tower of food. This was all very bizarre and he wondered if the small supper of deserts he'd had before bed had been spoiled or otherwise tampered with. It would go some way to explaining this dream and his inexplicable urge to remain in it. _Further indulgence could only lead to trouble_ , he told himself. _It would be wisest to end it._

A very long lifetime of dreaming told him how sensible it would be to follow his own advice. To resist temptation and move on.

He was not always known for being sensible.

When he picked up a cake, he realized that they had been formed into leaping rabbits with colored icing for fur and dollops of chocolate as eyes. It melted and oozed pleasantly as he bit into it, making him hum with appreciation. Sweet vanilla with a hint of cherry burst on his tongue and the treat was devoured in very short order. A strange, tangy taste was left behind; there and gone again quickly enough for him to dismiss it.

There were sixteen cakes in all and the next fifteen were just as delicious as the first had been. With a sigh of satisfaction, he reached for the last—its icing a creamy tan—then stopped.

An uncomfortable pressure had wrapped around his chest and neck, yanking him back, and he gave a smart shake to rid himself of it. The pressure increased and was accompanied by the sharp pain of someone twisting his ear. Yelping, he forgot the cake and pawed at his head. His invisible attacker twisted even harder and Solas jumped off of his chair to escape it.

The sensations chased him away from the table and into the surrounding trees. He weaved through them and the passing shadows until he decided that he'd had enough. Irritated, he tore the dream to shreds and returned to his usual, less painful nighttime wanderings of the Fade.

* * *

When he awoke, his ears were still stinging. That he had allowed remnants of his dream to carry over into the waking world like an inexperienced child was no small blow to his pride and he let out a grumpy huff. _It was an ill-advised idea and one I will not be repeating_. He wasn't certain what had possessed him to begin with but it was over and done now and he could set aside the whole embarrassing episode.

Covering his mouth with a paw, he let out a yawn. His joints ached slightly so he stretched, as well, and gave his tail a quick flick. The terrible realization hit him suddenly and his eyes snapped open. He was in his own bed in his own room but he felt no relief at the small mercy. Dread sank like iron in his belly as he caught sight of the flecks of dried blood that stained his front paws and he felt the fur of his muzzle tugged with each breath. _No._

He transformed back into an elf and the tugging turned into prickling pain at the skin of his mouth, cheeks, and throat. There was something stuck to the corner of his lip and when he removed it, dread became sickened understanding. _Fur_. He dropped down onto the bed and cradled his head in his hands.

 _I have eaten the rabbits._

He didn't want to believe it but he couldn't deny the evidence, gruesome as it was. In his foolishness, he had lost himself to the dream and eaten his vhenan's pets. Guilt writhed as he thought of little Marigold whom he'd grown attached to despite himself. Frightened. Her body in crimson ribbons. Dead because of him.

He felt ill.

With a breath, he swallowed and stood to clean himself up at his hand basin. It took a great deal of scrubbing to remove the stains from his skin and the water was pink by the end. He picked the gristle out of his teeth with a grimace, washed his hands a final time, and then threw it all out of the window where it could never implicate him. After drying off, he dressed and set to determining how he was ever going to look Saehin in the eyes again.

 _You must_ , he told himself. _Is it truly any worse than the other lies you've allowed her to believe?_

It wasn't but it did not make it any easier to endure the wait to face her.  
He occupied his mind as much as he was able with thick, difficult texts and overly complicated sketches that somehow never failed to become rabbits but the hours dragged by. A specific kind of torture that was no less than he deserved. By noon, he had capitulated and decided to go to her, instead, when she walked through the rotunda door.

It was clear she was upset though she made an effort to conceal it; a frown turned down the corner of her mouth and formed a crease between her brows. An old blanket was bundled up in her arms and his stomach clenched at the notion that it held what he believed it to.

"Have you seen, Cole?" she asked.

"I have not." He paused. Laced his fingers behind his back. Released them. It would only be salt in the wound but he couldn't help himself. He needed confirmation. "Is there a reason you're searching for him?"

Her frown deepened.

"One of the dogs broke into the rabbit hutch last night." Perhaps a change in his expression gave away some of his turmoil because she grabbed his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. "Marigold survived but the rest didn't. I wanted to know that he was alright. He was very upset."

Solas blinked and stared in disbelief of his ears. His eyes drifted to the blanket and he could now see what before he'd missed. A small, long-eared head was peeking out of the folds to regard the world with bright eyes and twitching nose. Marigold had...How? He thought back to the twisted reality of his dream. All but the last cake had been eaten and it had been the one with frosting the color of Marigold's fur. Something had driven him away and he realized now that it must have been Cole trying to protect the poor creatures. Too late, unfortunately, except for one.

"Are _you_ alright?" Saehin asked, snapping him back to the present.

He cleared his throat and ducked his chin.

"Yes, of course. You believe it was a dog?"

Cole popped into place on the scaffolding suddenly making Saehin start but fortunately not enough to throw something at him as she usually did.

"He didn't mean to hurt them," the spirit said, his feet swinging. "He didn't know what he was doing."

"It was only following its belly," Saehin said. "None of us blame him, Cole."

Tilting his head, Cole stared very pointedly at Solas from beneath his hat and an awkward silence fell. Saehin didn't appear to notice—her attention caught by the kit in her arms and its growing restlessness—and he had never before been grateful for her general lack of awareness of the moods of others. _You have certainly sunk very low_ , he thought to himself. _What is next? The poisoning of children?_

"That would be very wrong," Compassion agreed.

Marigold was squirming in earnest, now; attempting to escape the elf who had slaughtered her siblings, Solas presumed. Saehin was petting between her ears in slow strokes but it did little.

"She wants Solas." Cole gripped the edge of the scaffolding as he leaned forward. "Kind hands holding. Sheltering and warm. He has a heartbeat like hers but calm. Soothing. It furthers the fear until she forgets."

It was apparently the mission of Saehin's life to foist as many things upon him as she could because that was all she needed in order to push Marigold into his arms. Much like the first time, he fumbled then adjusted before he did more than jostle her. She settled almost immediately and he frowned, mystified. Should she not be terrified of him? He had nearly eaten her after having his fill of her littermates. It defied expectation and all reason for her to not only find comfort in his presence but to seek him out. Perhaps, she simply did not realize that the wolf had been him.

"No," Cole said though in response to what, Solas didn't know. "It grows. Out and deep within. Like hands that reach and bind with knots to hold together. She feels and knows it's there."

"What is?" Saehin asked.

The spirit ducked his head with a smile, feet still swinging to and fro.

"Love."

* * *

A/N: The song Cole and Saehin sing is based off of the nursery rhyme, 'I Had a Little Nut Tree.'


End file.
